Title: All Cheerleaders Die (2013)
Directors: Lucky McKee, Chris Sivertson
Runtime: 88 minutes

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I’m always excited when Branden is able to hook us up with review copies of films, but despite him giving me a choice on what to watch, I always tell him to surprise me. Thankfully, this time, I ended up with one I’d wanted to see. Plus, I love the “Evil Cheerleader” books in the Fear Street series by R.L. Stine, and I was getting similar vibes from what I read about this film (I was way off, though).

All Cheerleaders Die pretty much explains its story with its title. The film opens with the head cheerleader taking a nasty fall and dying. The girls hold tryouts for a new cheerleader, and outsider Maddy (played by Caitlin Stasey) tries out, and lands the spot on the team. She has different plans, though, and wants to cause some pain for these girls. Sadly, they all die in a car crash, but Maddy’s ex-girlfriend is able to cast a spell, and brings the girls back to life. There’s a catch, though: a magic stone lives in all of them now, and it requires a different kind of food. Plus, they all want revenge on the football players who caused them to die in the first place.

If you take one part The Craft, and one part Jennifer’s Body, with a healthy dash of Bring it On, you’ll have a good idea of what All Cheerleaders Die is all about. It’s clearly a horror comedy, and while all the little jokes don’t work, some of them knock it out of the park. The comedic highlight being a specific orgasm in the film, which also offers the only bit of nudity (which may be a body double, for those curious).

All Cheerleaders Die is based off of a short film of the same name, and was also written and directed by Lucky McKee, and Chris Sivertson. Some people may know Mckee from May, which is probably his most popular film. He also did The Woman (2011), and the Sick Girl (2006) episode of the Masters of Horror series, which was one of the few solid entries in the entire run. All Cheerleaders Die has a big budget polish to it, and the film has a very brisk 88-minute runtime.

That said, the film does lack one thing and that’s the blood and gore I was hoping for. Yes, people die, and there are a few decent scenes, but as the film hits its climax, we tend to miss the deaths because they happen off screen. The film also seems to be part of a series, or at least another entry is being planned, judging by the title card at the end.

I am happy to report, though, that whoever the casting director was did a very fine job of giving us some nice eye candy. All of the girls are typical cheerleader babes, but they offer their own unique looks. Okay, maybe some just have rocking bodies, but really, their acting is above average for the genre, which surprised me. We even get some girl-on-girl action, minus the boxcutter. I looked up everyone in the film, and most have just had bit parts here and there which makes it even more surprising how naturally they all came off in the film.

I enjoyed All Cheerleaders Die way more than I should have. It’s a fun ride that held my attention the whole time. Some really witty lines are sprinkled throughout, and while not as tongue-in-cheek as I thought it would be, it’s just a joy to watch. It makes a few missteps once the magic starts happening, but it’s still enjoyable as hell.

This will be released by Image Entertainment on July 22, 2014 on DVD and Blu-ray. All Cheerleaders Die (2013) was written and directed by Lucky McKee and Chris Sivertson. The film is 88 minutes in length, and is not rated. Cinefessions was provided a digital copy of the film for review from Image Entertainment.

Chris Ranson

Chris was raised on horror films, which gave him a deep love for the genre, especially its most quirky and offbeat titles (like A Nightmare on Elm Street 2). This love quickly turned into an obsession for cinema in 1997, when he decided he needed to see every major theatrical release. Video games (JRPGs), reading (anything but fantasy), and reality television (Survivor) are just some of his other passions. He’s been with Cinefessions since 2013, and has been writing reviews all over the internet for the past twelve years.