Title: Area 407 (2012)
Runtime: 90 minutes
Directors: Dale Fabrigar and Everette Wallin

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For a made-for-tv horror film, I really expected this to be worse than it was. That said, this is not a good movie. Unfortunately, the incredibly cool premise – a group of people survive a plane crash, but, unbeknownst to them, they’ve landed in the government-sanctioned “Area 407”, which will make surviving the plane crash seem easy – is brutally killed by horrendous characters that the audience wants to see die.

The main characters are all virtually unlikeable, with a couple that you legitimately want to see dead, like Trish, the 8-15 year old girl (I couldn’t really tell from the way everyone was treating her), or her sister, who refused to stop whining and complaining for one minute. Trish’s voice is beyond grating, and the fact that she gets treated like an 8-year-old child when she looks closer to 15 was obnoxiously confusing. Her sister is equally as annoying, and although she delivers the funniest line in the film (unintentionally, mind), is also incredibly unlikable.

Area 407 has some really cool moments, and I even jumped from some cheap scares a couple of times, but the characters made me want to shut the movie off more than a few times. The ending is predictable (thanks to the title), but the “bad guy” is a pretty cool idea. Unfortunately it’s never developed upon at all.

Not the worst movie I’ve ever seen, but surely not a good film either, Area 407 will be forgotten by the end of the month, I’m sure.

Those that get sick from shaky cam technique, be aware: this is a found footage film that only knows how to use the shaky cam technique.

Branden Chowen

Branden has been a film fan since he was young, roaming the halls of Blockbuster Video, trying to find the grossest, scariest looking VHS covers to rent and watch alone in the basement. It wasn’t until recently, though, that Branden started seeking out the classics of cinema, and began to develop his true passion for the art form. Branden approaches each film with the unique perspective of having studied the art from the inside, having both a bachelor’s and master’s degree in acting. He has been a film critic since 2010, and has previously written for Inside Pulse Movies, We Love Cult, and Diehard Gamefan. His biggest achievement as a film critic, to date, has been founding Cinefessions and turning it from a personal blog to a true film website, housing hundreds of film and television reviews, and dozens of podcasts.