Movie Number- 128
Title- Private (2003)
Running Time- 87 minutes
Director- Tinto Brass
Writer- Tinto Brass
Starring- Maruska Albertazzi, Sara Cosmi, Silvia Rossi, Andrea Nobili
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(Originally an IP Movies Review)
Since the 1960s, Italian filmmaker Tinto Brass has made a name for himself writing and directing soft-core pornographic films. One of his latest DVD releases is one such film, and though it could be placed in the same category of a similar movie I have recently reviewed (Score), this is aimed at a different audience. Short on story, and heavy on sex, Private is an erotic comedy that focuses on young, horny couples who want nothing more than a good time. There are six short vignettes, making this movie a soft-core pornographic anthology. Each vignette is written and directed by the legendary Tinto Brass, but each tells a different story:
1. Alibi
A couple celebrating their 7th wedding anniversary decides to explore their fantasies, which includes a threesome with the bellboy. Alibi ends up being one of the most delightfully sexy of the six vignettes, mostly because of the stunning beauty of the main female in the short. There is no doubt Tinto Brass is aiming for something artistic in this short, with the use of beaded curtains and mirrors, but it is difficult to look at the films artistic merit, when the shots are constantly focused on the most intimate areas of the female anatomy. It seems that Tinto Brass has missed the artistic mark, but has nailed down sexuality.
2. Double Trouble
Two couples find excitement by “unknowingly” swapping partners in order to get ahead in show biz. This vignette is forgettable. Though it is one of the only vignettes with a real male penis (the rest of the film uses dildos), the actors in the short are average looking, and it contains only oral sex.
3. Two Hearts and a Hut
A German couple staying at a hotel treats the door girl to a fetishistic surprise, whether her boyfriend likes it or not. This is the funniest vignette in the movie, but it could have been even funnier if that humor was played up more. There is a German male in this short that constantly yells out “wonderful” (in German, of course), and he could have been used more to enhance the humor in the scene further. As it stands, it is a funny scene that mixes slapstick comedy with S&M bondage. Though it was not at all sensual, the slapstick makes up for it.
4. Jolly Bangs
A couple on a beach argues over the wife’s “jolly banging” while they were engaged. The argument heats up when the wife starts reminiscing about these encounters. This is one of the shortest vignettes in the film, and is memorable because of the beauty of the female character. There is a weird group scene in this one that stands out as the oddest in the film, but otherwise this is only a mediocre short.
5. Evil to Him Who Thinks Evil
An unmarried, voyeuristic couple where man shoots for something more than the woman is willing to give up before marriage. The man is a photographer, and nude pictures of the women are causing quite a stir at their hotel, even catching the attention of another couple that invites them to a party at their house. This is one of the better vignettes in terms of acting and sensuality. More than just a couple wanting to have sex, this tells an interesting story, and makes the audience care about what happens. The same cannot be said for any of the other shorts, making this one of the better ones on the disc.
6. Call Me Pig…I Like It
A couple on their honeymoon in London lets the big city take them to different places sexually. This is another strong short due to the acting and the story. Though sensuality is thrown out the window for more perverse efforts, the woman in the short is beautiful, and Tinto Brass – the director – makes an appearance. This contained the best cinematography of all the shorts, but contains a male ejaculation scene that doesn’t fit with the rest of the movie.
On a whole, there is no way to recommend Private based on the script, the artistic merit, or the acting. However, anyone who enjoys natural Italian women, and soft-core sex scenes will find something to like about Private. Because these are natural Italian women, they do no share the same daily hygiene traits that some people may have become used to, and hair is abundant, both below the belt, and under the arms. This is not a knock in any way to the film, just something that might take some viewers by surprise.
Branden has been a film fan since he was young, roaming the halls of Blockbuster Video, trying to find the grossest, scariest looking VHS covers to rent and watch alone in the basement. It wasn’t until recently, though, that Branden started seeking out the classics of cinema, and began to develop his true passion for the art form. Branden approaches each film with the unique perspective of having studied the art from the inside, having both a bachelor’s and master’s degree in acting. He has been a film critic since 2010, and has previously written for Inside Pulse Movies, We Love Cult, and Diehard Gamefan. His biggest achievement as a film critic, to date, has been founding Cinefessions and turning it from a personal blog to a true film website, housing hundreds of film and television reviews, and dozens of podcasts.
